Brooklyn's Maya Taqueria on Vanderbilt Avenue

I'm not sure what's more offensive---serving me a piss poor taco on what tasted like a deep-fried tortilla or the owner's attempt to drag California's name through the mud by labeling it "California Style." The evening I walked into Maya Taqueria, I was hungry---really hungry! It was late, but my good friend Rene' told me to give it a try. "I had the fish tacos and they were amazing," raved Rene' as I suspiciously eyed the menu. Rene' is my girl, but she's neither from California or a real conniseur of Mexican food, nonetheless, I took her advice and ordered a fish taco. Feeling adventurous, I ordered a shrimp taco, too! It only a moment to realize I'd made a big mistake by walking into Maya Taqueria. First off all, the fish taco was actually a FRIED fish taco. In all my years of living in California, fish tacos are always grilled and lightly seasoned. Who's ever heard of a fried fish taco??? Unless its battered of course. Upset and suspicious, I asked the man collecting cash, "Is the fish fried??" and when he said "Yes," I quickly retracted my order, and instead ordered one measly shrimp taco. And when I say measly, I mean measly! What came out of the kitchen were three pieces of overly seasoned, dried out shrimp...these shrimp were placed between two fried taco shells, with the edges seared to a crisp...the taco sat on the counter for about 5 minutes and that's when the tacoristo folded the tortilla in half, dumped a glob of orange chipotle sauce on the taco, shoved the taco with lettuce, and spooned out a dollop of salsa, which he kindly placed on the side of the plate.

I was repulsed to say the least and within minutes of leaving the $3.00 taco behind, Rene' encouraged me with "Just give it a try. How bad could it be??" In shock the taco was drenched in orange sauce, I wiped away the offending chipotle' and ate the three shrimp, bite by dry bite. It was lesson in humilty to say the least, as it took everything to restrain from demanding a refund. I was two seconds away from offering to be the restaurant's "taco consultant," as I fancy myself a purveyor of fine Mexican food.

I've travelled through Mexico and grew up in the Misison, therefore I knew the offending item I'd been served was not a taco, but an imposter of sorts---a hybrid...If this taco were a leopard, it had no spots...it was like an eagle without talons, naked and strange. I didn't want my tortillas fried like corn chips, but I needed them soft, piled high with shrimp, and tomatoes, cilantro and sliced radishes. I wanted to fold the tortilla over myself and feel the drip of shrimp juice down my face...but instead, I got three pieces of overcooked shrimp, shoved between two tortillas with lettuce...and let's not forget the offending neon orange sauce.

The next day, I received an email from Rene' proudly proclaiming that Maya Taqueria had received 4 stars on Yelp.com. And while she may be right, surely none of those people grew up in the Mission...In my dreams, I close my eyes and see the El Tonayense taco truck on the corner of 15th and Harrison. I walk up and order two carne asada tacos and a grapefruit Peñafiel. For a moment, all is well in the world...but I am in Brooklyn...and this is just a dream.

Hasta Luego,

Mission Taj

Dish: 
Freshness: 
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Rice: DT
Beans: DT
Salsa: 
Guacamole: DT
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